Three Things to Keep in Mind When Caring for Your Aging Parent

Navigating the evolving relationship with aging parents can be one of life's most fulfilling experiences. As they age, our perspectives shift, offering a fresh approach to how adults connect with their parents.

The Journey Ahead

The later years in life are often filled with a mix of joys and challenges. With the Baby Boomer generation growing older, their children face important decisions regarding the next chapter in their parents' lives.

Let's explore some practical guidance on recognizing when an elderly parent may require additional support, and the various approaches to consider, in order to make informed decisions.

1. Recognizing the Need for Support

Determining when a parent might need assistance is crucial. Many older adults, about 95% of those over 65, prefer to remain in their homes. However, being completely hands-off can pose risks. A few indicators can signal that a parent might need extra help. These include accumulating household clutter, unpaid bills, and spoiled food in the fridge, which may point to difficulties in managing daily tasks at home. Additionally, signs like burned pots, confusion, unexplained bruises, withdrawal, missed medications, or unsafe driving can suggest that living independently may no longer be suitable.

2. Convening the Family

Deciding on changes to a parent's living situation should be a collective effort. It’s a significant undertaking, and collaboration can ease the process. Gather siblings, aunts, uncles, and other invested family members to discuss concerns and evaluate each person’s ability to contribute to care, whether in time, effort, or financial support. This is also an opportunity to explore all available options.

3. Exploring Options - Weighing Benefits and Challenges

Once the need for help is identified, the choice typically lies between having the parent move in with family or finding a suitable facility.

If a parent moves in with a family member, benefits include peace of mind, more family time, potential assistance with household duties, less financial burden, and setting an example of family values for children. However, this option can also present hurdles. Adjustments might be necessary, such as reassigning bedrooms, preparing special meals, coordinating caregiving duties, managing medications, assisting with bathing, addressing sleep issues, and making home modifications like installing walk-in showers, lever doorknobs, or widened doorways. Specialists in these upgrades can be valuable resources.

Choosing a facility for a parent also has its advantages and drawbacks. A high-quality facility can offer increased social interactions, which promote happiness and longer life, alongside more freedom and specialized care for residents. Emotionally, this option can be less complex for families. On the downside, quality facilities can be costly, potentially adding financial strain on families.

Discussing these choices as a family ensures that responsibilities are shared. With empathy and thoughtful planning, this stage of life can be enriched with mutual respect and understanding for all involved.